Wednesday, September 1, 2010

24 more hours still no pics from the slackers!

Seriously!!  S. L. A. C. K. E. R. S!

So anyway, once we got Angie's bed made and her closet double rod hung, helped her hang her jeans, loaded desky stuff onto her desk I asked her what she wanted us to help her with next.  Through the entire process, I have tried to make her own the process, as she owns her life.  Now, I don't know if it was too little sleep, stress from the move or just bitchiness, but she TELLS  me to "go find the laundry room and you can take Min with you if you want"  Seriously, it took every fiber of self control not to knock her block off, and I leave the room and start walking down the hall.  Min tells me that she knows where HER laundry is.  I obviously know where mine is, and as we reach the end of her hallway, we find a nice window bench and a pretty comfortable chair.  So we sit and people watch (sounds better than mock and judge doesn't it?)  

There was an Indian gentleman in a full out suit, tie and silver cuff links, helping his daughter move in.  Sadly, there were also several guys in dress pants, dress shirts ( a few ties) and sports jackets.  A couple dress pants and dress shirt - one also with a tie. (Curt - shorts and a tee shirt. Min - jeans and a tee shirt, me- shorts and a tee shirt) As I am remarking to Min that this is not how one dresses to move one's child into a dorm a dad walked buy in elastic waist shorts and a giant baggy tee shirt that may have been as old as his child. I pointed him out and said THAT  is how you dress to move your kid into a dorm.

There was a really tall kid moving into the room on the corner at the end of the hall.  His door was open the entire time so we got a really good view of the proceedings.  His dad was in dress khakis with a serious knife pleat ironed in. and a dress shirt (fortunately no tie) and a blue blazer.  He comes across the hallway, looks at Min and myself - like gives us each a stare- an deposits 3 boxes right next to Min in a stack and returns to the room.  I'm not sure since we were wearing black tee shirts and the people there to help the kids were wearing black shirts, if he thought we were with the school.  Now the boxes weren't empty!!  There was still stuff in the boxes!!  Including something in the box that was the most hideous blue plaid on the planet.  maybe the galaxy!

Now back to the kid.  His name was Bill.  how do we know his name was Bill? because he had a very precocious 4 year old sister, who spent most of the morning running unsupervised in and out of the room and around the hallway.  Kind of annoyed me, because not for nothing, but there are a ton of people in and out of the hall and building.  there was security but they weren't checking id's or signing people in and out.  I do realize that would have been a logistical nightmare.  The closes thing the girl had to supervision is her brother's roommate's 10 year old sister.  And realistically, the parents don't know this kid! Some 10 year olds are very responsible, some are not.  I was waiting for the 10 year old to have a stroke or coronary as after one time skipping down the hall, she was huffing and puffing and turning a definite strawberry color.  the 4 year old's dad (man in blue blazer) looked to be almost if not just over 60.  So Min and I were discussing whether she was an oops baby or 2nd wife  syndrome.  Then we saw her mom.  I am now voting for oops baby.

Back to Bill.  As I mentioned earlier he was tall, very tall, as in the top of the door frame hit him in the bridge of his nose.  This height is very important to the story, and the fact that he was seriously skinny ( i guess all his nutrients went to skeletal bone structure?).  While his parents futzed around with the practicalities of dorm life, his first goal upon getting to his room was to install one of those chin up devices in the doorway.... of his bathroom. 

Obviously, you could now no longer close the bathroom door (did I mention everyone moving in during this time slot was in the Honors College?) So as everything else is going on, for a substantial amount of time Min and I were waiting for someone to attempt to close the door.  People went in, the mom put the soap/ hand towels/ bath mats/ etc. but no one closed the door. 

We continued to people watch ( mock and judge remember?) there was a girl whose mom and dad were each pushing a giant cart. Her brothers? were each rolling suitcases, her grandmother?  was carrying a laundry basket toward her room.  She was bee bopping down the hall carrying a teddy bear!  There was a skinny boy, with a bright yellow bandana headband, a neon pink tee shirt, and plaid boxers hanging out his pants.  Angie's roommate kept running up the stairs with her parents to her sister's room upstairs.  There were students from the "hoot squad" and students from the honors college were going in and out of the rooms, checking on the kids, answering questions etc.  There were the kid's mentors who also stopped into the rooms.

By now, Curt was with us as well and we came up with a hysterical practical joke.  As I didn't have a single on me, Min provided me with one.  I went up to one of these upper classmen who looked official like, and had a clipboard. (Clipboards add authority have you noticed?) I offered her the dollar to go into Angie's room. Ask for Angie by first and last name and tell her that there was a mix-up and she was in the wrong room and needed to move her stuff one floor up.  (Angie's room had been swapped twice during the summer once right before her orientation/registration in July and once right after.  WHat we did not know was when Angie went to check in to check in and get her key etc, All three rooms were still attached to her name.  So they deleted 2 and gave her the key to the thrid)  Now while most kids would look for their parents in this instance, Ange was calmly asking if the room was one of the first two rooms, was telling the girl that she needed to talk to someone becasue she was sure this was the right room and maybe there were additional mix ups.  WE were out in the hall DYING.  it was too funny. And the girl even made up a Victoria as the correct resident of the room. Finally the girl flat out told angie she should find her parents and go work this out.  SO AS SHE COMES OUT OF THE DOORWAY, SHE SEES THE THREE OF US , PRETTY LITERALLY ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING OUR ASSES OFF!! 

She was pissed, but within a few hours admitted it was funny , and as word of it had spread around her hallway, she was pretty sure it would soon become freshmen move in legend.

We returned to our hallway window perch, just as the 4 year old, was begging her dad to go skipping down the hall.  The chin up bar thing was still in the bathroom doorway.  Now in a remarkable string of coincidence - at the very same exact time - the dad comes out still in his blue blazer, bends just about in half  to hold the girls hand, tells the 10 year old that he taught the 4 year old to skip, and skips down the hall. It was the silliest thing you have ever seen!  I AM LAUGHING SO HARD, I'M SNORTING, GASPING  FOR AIR.   At the exact same moment Min who is still watching the bathroom door, is rewarded when someone goes in the bathroom and tries unsuccessfully to close the door. Now She is also at the same time rolling on the window ledge, tears in her eyes laughing her ass off!  

People are stopping to stare at the two of us, we keep laughing.  people come out of their rooms to see what is going on, we keep laughing.  Curt tells random strangers in the hallway (turns out to be her roommates parents) that he doesn't know us.  (WHo does that? just tells a random person he doesn't know another random person?  I know how Jesus felt being denied by Peter - but kept laughing) We would slowly stop laughing  only to make eye contact and start laughing again.  WHen we could finally talk to tell Curt WHY we were laughing we discover we were not even laughing at the same thing, but we each thought the other was laughing at whaT WE WERE.  This led to even more laughter.  And byt the time we were done the bar was no longer in the doorway.  What made it so truly sad, was the kid was so tall, that he would have had to bend his knees to use it, and his calves wee so long that they then would have dragged up the wall.  We're picturing him, sing it just going up on his toes and back down, saying "feel the burn, why isn't the burn working?"  and laughed even more.

We then went to check into out hotel so we could leave one vehicle there, and went to Target to pick up some forgotten things, and then went to champs for lunch.  As this post is getting long, and it is now past my bedtime, there will be another installment to this story, including the day and a half I then spent hanging 0ut with Min since Angie was busy!  Stay tuned!!

Also, on another note, today is my good friend Carl's 42nd birthday.

  I brought him a mint chocolate chip cupcake (it's green - he's irish) when he delivered my carpet this afternoon -

Happy Birthday Sweetie!!


  1. Wow either your child loves you more then mine do me (wow talk about the obvious) or you are doting parents but when Debb and Jeanne went to college, we were only needed because they could not drive themselves. They did not want us touching anything and would do it themselves. We were delivery people only. Love the story though, and can't wait for the next installment!!!

    Happy Birthday carl a wee bit late

  2. It's no wonder I like you so well. I was rolling just reading all of this. OMG what you did to Angie was priceless. LOL And then to mock judge...that's what I would call it...Hell with political correctness LOL Skipping down the hall ROFLMAO!!! OMG I love your evilness LOL

    Hau`oli La Hanau to Carl. Hope he has a good one.

  3. I remember the move in's. It is so exciting and it wears you out! It is a very happy time for your child. A new adventure. You are not a slacker!


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