A recent blogpost by Julie, really echoed what I was feeling inside, although I hadn't developed it into a coherent thought yet. Her post A Journey of Change is here.
I need to lose weight. Not for looks, but for how it feels inside. I'm tired of my knees hurting, my back being stiff if I sleep in. I'm tired of feeling like a lump on the weekends. I know a lot of people who know me in real life may be surprised to read this. When I'm around other people I really don't let on that I'd just rather veg out. The problem is that no matter what kind of diet I attempt, the only way I'll lose weight is by working out. I know that if I muster up the energy to actually work out, I will end up with more energy in the end.
I feel like my brain is turning to mush. My reading is defined by the internet and magazines. The only books I've read in the last several years have been Debbie Macomber and Nora Roberts. I used to read... a lot. I don't want to imply that fluff is all I read. I love Discover and Scientific American, but as interesting as they may be, a three page article is hardly brain bending.
A lot of this came to light because as I posted earlier, my daughter moved into her dorm at Temple. So now, I don't have to worry about being home after work for her. I don't have to worry about her uniforms being cleaned and ready for meets. I don't have to worry about her getting to practice or lessons (even if I didn't drive her - she took my car) I don't have to worry about being at her meets. I don't have to care that she doesn't like onions, or raw peppers. The only things I have to worry about is the house being human, Curt and I having clean laundry, and there being food in the fridge. I now have time.
I need this time. I need it for me, for my sanity (what sanity I have). I still don't have a very solid plan. It's more vague concepts. I am the kind of person who needs accountability. So I'm using this blog. I'm going to try for every Monday, but that may change. First to develop a plan. Then to follow the progress of the plan, tweaking as necessary.
I've already started on solving the brain pudding problem. Since last Monday, I have made time almost every afternoon to read. It is a little bit depressing. I used to be able to knock out a few hundred pages at a sitting. Now it's a struggle to read past 40. It's not the books fault. The book I'm reading is really very interesting and well written. ( A biography of Lewis Carroll) I am reading this biography, because I also checked out an original version of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. All of his characters are parodies of people in mid-nineteenth century Oxford.
Why Alice?? Not because of johnny Depp. Sorry. There is a list of 1001 books to read before you die. No I do not plan on reading all 1001. But I think I've only read 33. SInce I want to read more, I plan on reading some books on the list. Since I already passed every English Lit class I ever plan on taking there will be many I have no intention of torturing myself with. But it does give me somewhere to start, so I can expand beyond sci-fi and classic British lit, which is most of my reading comfort zones. I joined a group on Ravelry (amazing how many different forums a knitting/crochet/fiber arts site plays host to) that has a read a long each month of a different book on the list. Sept is Alice, Through the Looking Glass is October.
I'll let you know how the whole weight/fitness/energy issue coalesces next week.